And Then God Made... Woman!

Warning To All Men: If you are ‘thin skinned’ then I advise you to ‘pass’ on this article.

If I were a screenwriter, I would have endless material for a sitcom comedy because, well, living with a man sometimes is just that: a comedy. I have a theory that if roles were reversed we would never ever have to be concerned about over population.

I truly think that after one experience of childbirth man would remember every single labor pain and opt out of having any more children… ever.

Although I grew up with two brothers, I never really paid very much attention to our differences. Don’t misunderstand me, I really enjoy men and I genuinely love my husband very much. Regarding my ‘hubby’, however, there is a character trait or two that I must have missed while we were dating….

For instance, when he gets sick. I never saw so much drama in my life. It doesn’t matter the degree of the illness because it’s all the same: the groaning, the sighing, the ‘honey please get me this’ or the ‘honey, please get me that.’ The next time my husband gets sick, I am really tempted to take him to the hospital and let the nurses take over so I can have a vacation. It’s exhausting.

Then there’s the traveling thing. God forbid you ask anyone for directions even if you have been driving five hours out of your way. “Trust me, I know where we’re going. The turn is coming up soon, I am sure of it." Oh, yeah? How come we were supposed to reach our destination five hours ago?

Through my brothers I have witnessed firsthand how easily man changes around a beautiful woman. Oftentimes, an ordinarily strong, sensible man literally ‘melts’ around a beautiful woman. Now I may be wrong, but I really believe, that if the roles were reversed with Adam and Eve, Eve would have never taken a bite out of that apple. No way could Adam have convinced her to do it. I suspect that Eve was gorgeous and poor Adam just could not say no.

Ever fall into a toilet bowl? My daughter has on numerous occasions. Men just assume that everyone wants the toilet seat kept up. Do you know how many times I have heard my little girl cry from the bathroom only to find her slumped in the toilet bowl with her legs waving frantically above her? Well, I have to admit it was funny, but… let’s get serious here.

Now if your business is home based, like mine is, life can be a challenge when your husband has a day off. When we were dating, my husband had many hobbies and could occupy himself just fine if I was not with him. Now? Everywhere I go he’s there.

Last week I was working on a very intensive deadline that required my complete concentration and hubby had two consecutive days off. Every half hour, or so it seemed, he’d come in my office ‘to visit’. By the second hour within his first day off, I ‘kindly’ suggested that he might want to make a few phone calls and see if any of his friends wanted to ‘play’.

Usually, men can only do one thing at a time. Women, on the other hand, are true masters of ‘multi-tasking’ and can handle many things at the same time. A few years ago, I had asked my husband to watch our daughter, Laura, so I could make a few quick errands. Gary, busy in the kitchen preparing one of his yummy dinners, agreed. When I returned two hours later, Laura was nowhere in sight. My husband was so involved in ‘the cooking thing’ that he lost sight of his daughter. ‘Lucky for him’, we found her visiting our next-door neighbor.

Most women are also ‘gifted clairvoyants’. Time after time I share my concerns on matters with my husband simply because ‘I have a feeling’. Time after time my husband responds to me that I am making too much out of things. Time after time I have been right. Women usually do have a ‘sense’ about things and ‘just know’ when something is wrong.

When the time comes for Laura and me to have the ‘mother and daughter talk’, there will be no mention of sex. She will figure that out just fine. There will, however, be an extensive chat about ‘the truth about living with a man’. For that, she will need to be prepared.

(c) 2008 Judi Lynn Lake

Judi Lynn Lake has kept up with leading edge business trends throughout her varied and successful career. She had already had her "15 minutes of fame" over and over again before starting her family. Judi and her family now reside in South Carolina, but, having been born and raised on Long Island, NY, it is clearly evident that she will always be a "New Yorker." Today, she successfully runs her own advertising agency which handles everything from logos, branding and package design while she continues to work closely with self-published authors from design to promotion. For more information, visit judilake.com